virtually sane
i’ve had a “smart phone” for 27 hours and it has literally changed my personality. the first hours i fidgeted with it i mostly ruminated on how much i hated windows and how horrible it will be to work with; then i suddenly found myself converted (imagine an anime-style swishing of light around the phone that then encompasses me, then there i was, floating and brandishing my phone in a ball of light, in a beauty salon – my sister & mom were getting their hair done…fine, me too, but nothing too complicated, just a roller set, still cool).
in recent hours i’ve reached a functionality plateau [which i think will start hiking up again soon, in my next apps/settings craze], and, & this is where the creepy personality change comes in, i’ve been so much CALMER (i get to write everything i think down! i don’t have to keep things in mind and have sudden “did i forget something?!” attacks before i do anything) and feeling BETTER ABOUT MYSELF (mostly because i’m doing more “progressing / doing-stuff” since it’s so much easier, instead of going along in a slow, unsatisfyingly enough pace that opens a bunch of opportunities for distractions, which lately seem to be mostly of the “why i hate my life/body/self” variety). all this stuff at my fingertips also means i can look stuff up right away – instead of collecting a bunch of little paper notes in my bags – and [somewhat psychotically] make running-out checklists – instead of wandering in & out of my room for 10 minutes AFTER i was supposed to have left the house – two VERY yuli characteristics.
i’ll think of them as yuli-behaviors instead of -characteristics, to not feel like i’m losing myself.
all of this is very lame and “exactly what society WANTS you to be,” but i’ll get suspicious about that later. i’ll ride this super-connected thing out at least until i finish grad applications and get through enough work days to finance what i need to this year (before my inevitable meltdown from this school job).
la la la
in relationship news:
i’m excuting my relationship-saving random fun thing #1: truth or dare. will update on this soon, assuming i keep up this HAVINGFREEFUCKINGTIMEFUCKYEA by-product of my smart-phoned self.
